My Dejected Sentiment

I'm in search of your affection

But scanning your soul makes me weak

We say empty words

Reassurance is all I need

Can't you heed my pain?

It's screaming to be heard

But all you can see is my wriggling toes

Nothing else...

Maybe I'm way too loud

But it seems to have some sense

Than be defenseless from your sight

Bet I would taste so sugarless

You know sharing is good

But I'll try and try until I die

Knowing somehow we're in this together

Missing you is forever and a day.

11/23-25/98

Harlequin

Don't make me smile

I'm sick of your lousy company

Don't about your attainments

I'll wake you up from your fantasy

Don't comfort me when I'm blue

You don't lighten up my day

Don't even think about it

I'm not touched anyway

You don't seem to be important

You're just another kid around

You're a filthy fool

You're not making the world go round

Be nice and humble

Have pity on yourself

Take my advice

Or I'll shake your head

I'm not a paranoid

Just pitying you

Do yourself a favor

Don't be a nincompoop!

11/1/98

The Natural Witch

Late at night

Casting out curses and spells

Seriously putting her mind into it

Invoking spirits is her favorite hobby

Reading some of them from witchcraft books

Murmuring, whispering, shouting, screaming

Until she ends up crooning

Raising her hands up high as she chants

Don't blame her;

She's just acting her natural self.

4/30/98

The Peculiar One

Crying out

The desire of being despised

Of being forsaken

To be alone

In this filthy world

Working unmethodically

To achieve what he longed for

Doing sorts of inexplicable things

Causing himself to eb hysterical

Giving away keen glances

To clement people

Who had sympathy for him

Giving himself

His very own verdict...

His very own future...

7/21/98

Impotence

Strange buccaneers

Enveloping the sluggish spectacle

Endlessly craving

For the unworldly individual

Who was too appalled to retaliate

Just a short murmur saying,

"Help!"

11/6/98

The Solicitor

A hindrance to the society

Although searching

For kindred spirits

Gradually becoming hopeless

Causing himself to trample

Along nasty roads

Skin sunburned

From the big, raging sun

Desperately wondering and wandering over

For some compassionate passers-by

To bestow him something

For necessary rejuvenation

Refusal was their response

To this parched creature

Please bring forth

Or this man will perish

Forever...

7/6/98

emotional numbness

Fighting the urge to stare at him,

I looked away with flooded emotion

Realizing I couldn't help myself,

I looked back but he was gone.

Too fatigued to do something,

I stood rooted to the spot.

It seemed ages when I recovered,

And when I did, I flushed really hot.

Why do I feel this way about him?

Everywhere I go, everything I see

He's confusingly there in my mind

Oh, God, how could this be?

6/4-5/98